I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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