You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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