It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
