I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
