would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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