just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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