Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
