I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
