He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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