She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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