i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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