honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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