Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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