Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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