You really coming over, don't trick.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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