her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
