My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm drive I can fine osifer
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
