did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
