I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
