Where did you get a picture of my penis
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
