i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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