The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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