I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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