At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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