fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
