Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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