I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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