In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
