after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
