I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
