Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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