They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
