dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
