who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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