ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
