1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
