Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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