legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
