She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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