Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
