and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
