I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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