I CAN MOONWALK!
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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