He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
