my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
