Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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