It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
We are all done wearing pants today
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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