so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Where are you guys?
Drunk
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
