My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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