i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
