Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
