Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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